Nadra Ruba'i

Nadra Ruba'i , 

22/03/2015 - A year ago today and I still love you more than anything. People say I should get over you. They told me to move on but how can I when I don’t know how to?

I tried fighting, fighting for you, fighting for us. I didn’t get tired. When it comes to you, I never get tired. But it hurts to see you fighting me while I fight for you. I didn’t gave up, I just accepted the truth that what you want is to get away from me, to be free from me. It hurts like hell but I have to accept it thinking that it will make you happy. After all, my goal was to always make you happy even if that meant me not being part of it. 

I have always been selfish and I always think of myself, but with you, I could be selfless and give without expecting anything in return. It is as if your happiness had been my priority. 

My life will go on but you will forever linger in my memory. Time spent with you will forever be cherished. Late night conversations with you will always be replayed and relived inside my mind. I know those things will make it harder for me to move on but I can’t help it. Maybe it’s my unconscious saying that I don’t want to move on from you. Maybe I’m still hoping that you will come back to your senses and come back to my life. Or maybe I’m just hoping and waiting and holding on because honestly, I still love you and I don’t know how not to